LJ Idol Week 14: Confessions From The Chair

[codenamewanderlust]

Charles Bukowsi once wrote “If you have to sit for hours staring at your computer screen or hunched over your typewriter searching for words, don’t do it.”

I was totally inspired by the prompt for LJ Idol this week so I’m kind of shocked to be hours away from the posting deadline with about three half-finished stories and a strong desire to take a nap (or just hide under the bed).

I had planned to work up until the deadline hoping to manage a suitable entry but my heart’s just not in it today. I had a bit of a stressful morning at work and I can’t seem to get my writing mojo activated.

I was really enjoying the challenge of LJ Idol and I really don’t want to be out of the game yet but since I will be working and camping at the Faerieworlds Art and Music Festival the whole last week of July and will likely be without internet (and I am all out of BYEs) I might as well bow out now.

At this point I was mostly competing against myself to see if I could stay in the game until I left for the festival anyway. When I signed up I never imagined I’d make it this far and I exceeded my own expectations.

I can honestly say this is the first time I have done anything like this. I hardly ever shared my writing before with anyone ever so the feedback I’ve received during these last few months from friends, family and the LJ Idol community has been unexpected and overwhelmingly encouraging which makes it even harder to admit defeat.

I will Home Game as much as possible, and read and comment, and generally lurk around the LJI community. I truly wish I had found therealljidol before its final season. I don’t think I would feel so sad right now if I could just sign up again next time. Maybe I can try to get back in during the second chance thing I've heard about if it happens.

I would like to take a second to thank the great and powerful Sir Gary who is just kind of amazing to take on this much work so that someone like me could have a reason to be writing and a community to share it with.

LJ Idol has made me a better writer, a bolder writer; someone who actually feels like I can call myself a writer (a poet…a wordsmith).

I leave you with a picture of The Poet’s Chair on the third floor of The City Lights Bookstore one of my favorite places in San Francisco.

TL;DR This is a sacrificial goodbye post. Thank you for making a noob feel so welcomed and encouraged. Gary/LJI is awesome. Oh my gosh I’m a writer.

Comments

[i-17bingo.livejournal.com]

Well, shit.

[rswndrlst.livejournal.com]

yeah, that was my sentiment exactly when I sat down to post this. Thank you for the inspiring comments and I will hopefully still be posting Home Games and such.

Best of luck to you!

[bleodswean.livejournal.com]

Oh, hon. *hugs* You have a voice, keep writing and posting here so that we can hear it!!!

[rswndrlst.livejournal.com]

This comment almost made me cry (in a good way). Thank you! I'm sad to be out of the game but glad to a part of the community!

[kickthehobbit.livejournal.com]

:(

nooooooooo!

[rswndrlst.livejournal.com]

agreed.

[n3m3sis43.livejournal.com]

I'm sad about this. I've really been enjoying your posts, so I hope you do participate in Second Chance. Since it's the final season, I'd be surprised if Gary didn't do Second Chance to give as many people as possible the opportunity to partake in Idol. Of course, Gary does love to surprise us... but I hope to see you back.

I agree with the Bukowski quote to an extent, and I've had an extraordinarily hard time coming up with entries this season. I've had more than my fair share of chances and gift byes and I'm sorry I couldn't have offered you one this week so you could stay in.

[rswndrlst.livejournal.com]

When I first realized I wasn't going to have a proper entry I thought about begging around for BYEs but since I might be off the grid from the 23-29 I was probably going to be out then anyway so I didn't think it would be fair.

I was sorta keeping fingers crossed on your theory on second chance being the last chance idol. So we'll see.

I was truly in a weird place the day I wrote this and I know now I won't stop writing, I just need to focus on writing from the heart and not censoring myself or trying to impress anyone.

Thank you and Best of Luck to you!

[roina-arwen.livejournal.com]

I hope you do the Second Chance Idol if you're able. It's been lovely getting to know you through your writing, and that looks like a wonderfully comfortable chair, too.

(I've always had a soft spot for rocking chairs!)

[rswndrlst.livejournal.com]

The thing I love most about this chair is that is on the third floor where all the Beat writers are kept and the street bhind the building is named Jack Kerouac Alley because he was known to cross from the bookstore to the pub on a regular basis.


(I'm pretty partial to porch swings myself)

[roina-arwen.livejournal.com]

That sounds like a nifty location, for sure.

When I was a tiny tot, I had a child-sized wooden rocking chair in my room. When I got older (I think Junior High) it got upgraded to an adult sized rocker with a chair pad. It's just one of those things that I've always enjoyed.

We didn't have a porch, or a porch swing, just a patio out back.

[rswndrlst.livejournal.com]

See I'm always gonna regret a little that this was the topic I went out on because there's so many interesting stories in such the simple object of chairs. It's what I get for always waiting until the last minute and being indecisive as frell.

I don't think my family had a porch swing but I was always envious of people who did.

[jem0000000.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'll miss your entries. Definitely do Second Chance. :)

[rswndrlst.livejournal.com]

*hugs back* thank you and I will!

[jem0000000.livejournal.com]

You're welcome, and yay! :)

[eternal-ot.livejournal.com]

Not done!..:/..i am saddened to see you go..I really enjoyed reading you and you sure have a way with words..keep writing..I am hoping to see ya around..*hugs* And best wishes for your trip..:) Enjoy! Hey btw..lovely click..:D

[kajel.livejournal.com]

aww, I am sad about this.

[halfshellvenus.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry you're leaving, but glad you've gotten so much out of this! And yes, after nagging my husband brutally to participate in Idol, it took him only a couple of weeks to say, "Gee, I wish this wasn't the last season!"

[karmasoup.livejournal.com]

Isn't it wonderful, the discovery that you're more than you thought? I can relate. I had been writing most of my life before Idol, but never really recognized myself as a "writer" until Idol. Welcome to the club. Hope to catch you lurking around.

[alycewilson.livejournal.com]

Sorry to see you go. It's been fun reading your work, even if I rarely have time to comment!